Keeping the Faith, Staying the Course
by LeeAnn Armitage
Looking back over the past 18 years, I could not have predicted that Christopher’s life would have influenced us and everyone around him in such a transformative way. I loved him from the beginning, but would the world love him and accept him like I do? This is all any mother wants for her child.
When I look at Chris, I don’t see his Down syndrome, I see a gift specifically chosen for our family. I see my trusting, resilient, loyal, funny and genuine son who stands by the door each morning eager to go to school. I see the beauty in his interactions with his sister Mary and his classmates. I see his fortitude in carrying every cross he’s been handed. I see the boy who changed our family and our communities for the better. As my husband Tony says, “Living with Chris is like being on vacation every day,” because he is always showing us something new. The unfiltered love and joy shared by Chris is one of my favorite parts of being his mother.
LeeAnn with her son Chris.
But anyone who has a child with disabilities knows it is not easy. We have to navigate a world with societal perceptions of “normal” that all too often view our children with sympathy and limitations, when all we want for them is acceptance. We experience the trials of managing care, overcoming emotional hurdles, and learning to live life on a pivot, adapting at any given moment. And despite the intense love for our child, it’s easy to get swept up in feelings of sadness, anger, frustration and even, loneliness. It is in these moments that our faith reminds us to never give up; God has a plan.
Take me and Tony for example. Two people who knew nothing about inclusive education. We just wanted Chris in Catholic school with his sister as part of his community. We were naïve and that was probably a good thing. Our hopes for Chris were met with doubt, negativity and closed minds. A laundry list of concerns and reasons why it wouldn’t work. But through the tears and moments of hurt, we discovered the only way forward was to proceed with blind faith that required us to lean into the Holy Spirt and then, trust.
Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
We have also come to understand that witnessing the conversion of hearts is one of the greatest gifts of having a child with disabilities. Some of our biggest skeptics are now some of our most committed donors and voices for inclusive Catholic education. It often takes patience and persistence to help others recognize the gifts we see in our child. When they do, the graces unfold, and you see miracles happening in real time. When they don’t, take on a compassion and kindness, and give it to God. Don’t view setbacks as the end. Look at them as the potential for something better.
With faith, God will provide you with the people and resources to help you in your specific circumstance. It may not happen overnight, but it will happen. There will be trial and error, but you will eventually find a community to lift you and your child up. Tony and I have so many stories from Chris’s experience at Mary Queen of Peace, and now in high school at St. Mary’s South Side Catholic High School, that show God’s hand in His life and in the lives of his classmates. God’s plan for Chris is way bigger than anything we had imagined.
Most importantly, know that you are not alone. As your faith grows, you have comfort knowing there are others walking in your shoes. That you have what it takes to advocate for your child, to manage unforeseen challenges, and to take each step as it comes. And then, be ready for the Holy Spirit to surprise you. There aren’t enough pages to capture the daily surprises we’ve encountered as Chris’s parents. Some large and some small, all part of the privilege of having Chris as our son. Daily victories that continually remind us of God’s endless goodness and mercy.
As we always say at One Classroom, “May the Holy Spirit continue to guide and inspire us.” My friends, keep the faith and stay the course. Your cup will overflow.
